


Cherry Wine

by Alpha_Camolot



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur's POV, Fluff, Just a random short, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 14:30:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7536469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alpha_Camolot/pseuds/Alpha_Camolot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur can't sleep and spends a few moments reflecting on things in his life</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cherry Wine

**Author's Note:**

> The title of the song comes from Hoizer's song.

Arthur stared at the canopy of his bed, breath quite in the stillness of his room. Nights like this were his favorite. They were also his worst. When he was unable to rest because of the jumble of thoughts racing through his mind. Each one equally loud and demanding to the point that he couldn’t hear a single one past the roar in his own head. He would single one out and reflect on it as he lay against his pillows. Some would leave him at the point of tears, others would settle warm over him like a blanket. Yet still, no matter what he was thinking of his mind always drifted back to one topic, or should he say person.  _ Merlin.   _ Not even on the pain of death would he ever admit how much he thought about his servant. He couldn’t help it. The man was an enigma to him.  He was an idiot, but he held wisdom beyond his years. An open book, and yet there were still secrets to be discovered. Not that Arthur himself didn’t have secrets. There were things he had done that he was not proud of. His father always accused those with magic to be beasts, but there were times when Arthur wondered who the real monster was. What made a monster anyway? Claws and fangs made a thing surely, but what about deeds? Leading the slaughtering of hundreds was sure to be a qualification. Arthur shuddered. This wasn’t something he liked to think about often. It was in fact, something he tried to avoid. If he didn’t his guilt would no doubt kill him. Unlike however, when he thought about pink lips and cornflower blue eyes. Of sassy backtalk and a spitfire personality. In the few private moments he had to himself. When he was out of the public eye and would dare to indulge himself. Stolen glances of moonkissed skin and slender hands he secretly watched work. Long limbs and a smile to bright to not be in the sky. A picture of perfection created by the gods to grace the eyes of lesser people such as himself. It was so silly to think that way of Merlin. He was just a man, so like everyone else he was a sinner. Yet somehow he was also so pure. Arthur had seen him kill before. He also saw when he tried to hide his tears when he cried over strangers and animals. For all the joking he did that no man was worth your tears, Arthur knew that Merlin had cried over him before. Even if he always denied it. He didn’t want to make Merlin cry. He wasn’t sure he deserved even one of Merlin’s tears.Sometimes Arthur wished he didn’t know that Merlin was a liar. That he could just brush it off and believe him. He couldn’t however because he knew how hard it was hard for Merlin to tell the truth. Well to him anyway. He also wished that he didn’t know how much Merlin told Lancelot. Because that thought, it hurt. A deep sting that never failed to remind him that Merlin didn’t trust him. Not completely. Arthur rolled on his side to face the image of grace before him. Long, dark lashes that fell beautifully against high cheekbones. Arthur reached out and pulled the body to his chest. That wasn’t true. If Merlin didn’t trust him he wouldn’t be here. Sound asleep in his bed, encompassed in his arms. There were just things that Merlin was scared to tell him. He could clearly remember all the times Merlin would wake in the night. Would shake and clutch onto him for dear life and for goodness sakes be begging for forgiveness. How he wouldn’t stop until Arthur would hug him close and whisper reassurances in his ear that everything was okay. Arthur wound his arms tighter around Merlin, letting himself be washed in the tide of his breathing. He calmed himself down. He never liked not knowing the cause of the pain he saw on Merlin’s face. The way it made his heart clench. It was a slow battle but a progressing one to say the least. It had been almost a month since his last breakdown and he smiled more these days. Arthur  counted each of those days as a victory. They were working on this together. Who knew. Maybe pretty soon Merlin would finally be ready to tell him everything. Perhaps even when they were cuddled up in front of his fire. Breath sweet from the cherry wine and warm on each other’s skin. Arthur smiled and nestled into the space of Merlin’s neck between his collarbone and his shoulder. He heard Merlin let out a soft, contented sigh and couldn’t help the tingling he felt spread goosebumps across his body. So what if they weren’t perfect, nobody was. They had this. Here was divine warmth and safety and they fit. They completed each other and filled all the missing holes. And for now that was all that mattered. Arthur laid his head down and let the rhythm of Merlin’s heart finally lure him to sleep. 


End file.
